Wednesday Wipeouts

Oh, OKCupid. Oh, the men on OKCupid. Actually, from what I hear from our dear Phronk, the women are just as bad...but I don't have to deal with them.

Wednesdays will now, for the near future at least, be devoted to weird messages and/or conversations I've had with men on OKCupid. I know, try to contain your excitement.

This week's winner:

Well hi

My name is [it would be mean to tell you] I am 200 lb and 6ft I am from [somewhere], and I think your cute (just so you know its hard to tell a total stranger that they are cute or pretty threw a computer without sounding creepy, please forgive me).. Just the same I am white I shave my head I love the cold not really into sports that much but I play volleyball twice a week I have a dog and I take great pride in being Irish.. So if you like guys that are strong quiet that have tattoos and love to cook stop buy and say hi or text dosent bother me [for his own protection] wish you the best..

It just hurts my head. PUNCTUATION, people. Figure it out.

And since it's our first week of Wednesday Wipeouts, here's a bonus conversation I had with a dude because I just couldn't stop myself. Later, as I was telling Gofahne (ahem, please to sit your ass down and write your first blog, thanks) about it and we had a nice chuckle. Then I sent her the link to his profile and she said, "Um...remember how I told you that I was maybe having coffee with someone this week? Well, that's him."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oops.

It went like this...

Him: hey, what are you upto?

(Now, I had been chastised for never really responding to people, so this week I was trying to be a good girl and at least say something. I went to check his profile and his list of "I'm really good at..." things was this:

Kick boxing
Tigers
Water Falls
Jet Skiing
Para Sailing
Scuba Diving
Muscle Cars
BMWs
Roller Coasters
Basketball
Kite Surfing
Chess
Horse Riding
Bowling
Pool
Card Games
Long Drives
Racing my car
Movies
Music
Reading
People
Dancing
Salsa
Camping
Nature
Photography
Travelling
Massage
Reflexology
Eyes
Kissing

Which is...a lot of crap that makes little sense, but the first "move" we learned in pole dancing class was "water fall," so I found it amusing that he's good at that. Anyway, it seemed like a bit of douchebaggery, but I decided to respond. But not much.)

Me: No good.

Him: oh no. what's wrong?

Me: Um, nothing. You asked what I'm up to. And I am up to no good.

(This is no longer amusing once I have to explain it. Now I just sound weird...)

(Also, is this no longer a frequently used expression? I thought it was...)

Him: lol no good means something is not good...are u living your life?

Me: (Trying to refrain from saying, "No, I'm dead.") It's an EXPRESSION. And everything in my life is lovely.

Him: Are u lovely too?

Me: Generally speaking, yes.

Him: Generally is the keyword here...It saves more lot of worries...so what would u prefer for yourself...intelligence or looks ?

(I still have no idea what the hell that means...it saves more lot of worries?!?)

Me: Intelligence.

Him: do u think intelligence is perfection?

Me: No.

Him: explain

Me: You want an explanation for "No."?

Him: (Fifteen hours later) nopes...i want an explanation for why u like me :)

Me: Whatever would have given you that impression? (Which should have been my other choice, "That's easy. I don't.")

Him: (Five hours later) YOU...and dont try to make me scared of it...its ok to like someone :)

I can't even think of a response to that that isn't "drop dead." So I'm just leaving it there.