07 December 2009

In which I pretend that you're going to find this interesting, but we all know the truth.

My apartment occasionally gets a little out of control in the messy department.

I know. You're shocked, right?

Generally, I'm not unclean, just cluttered. Basically meaning that while my kitchen is pretty clean, there are clothes EVERYWHERE. This gets particularly bad when I do anything that messes with my routine.

Oh, man, I just totally lied to you guys. I don't have a routine at all! Ha!

What I really mean is, this generally happens when I don't bother to make time for me at home.

And lately? I really haven't been.

Finally, the mess just got to be TOO MUCH. So I cleaned. And I did ALL my laundry. All of it. This is no small feat.

Here's what I discovered:

1. That purse that I lost? Was exactly where I thought it was. It was just covered up by my spring jacket.

2. I own most of the world's stock in wife-beater tank tops. I do use them for sleeping, working out, and other things, but 40 of them? Probably too many.

3. There is now enough underwear in my underwear drawer for me to go about six months without needing to wash any. And that's after I got rid of all the pairs that I don't like.

4. I probably have 100 pairs of socks. This is not an exaggeration.

5. My carpet doesn't actually have any red flecks in it. Apparently that was just my hair.

6. My bed looks really weird when it's made.

7. There's a chair in my room that I hadn't seen in six months because it was covered in clothing.

8. There's actually carpet on my closet floor. I even know what it looks like now.

9. I have enough workout pants to work out every single day for at least a month without running out. That does not include shorts. Don't even get me started on the sports bras.

10. And finally, my bed is REALLY REALLY comfy. I hadn't slept in it in at least two months.

So you see where cleaning your apartment can get you, kids? I realized at the point when I was vacuuming that I hadn't actually vacuumed since I moved in. That's just wrong. Don't tell my mother.


M said...

Nice work. When are you coming to my house?

Tatiana said...

I could've written that post. Except for the not sleeping in my bed part. I love my bed with a loving love and would keep it over the boyfriend.

Gofahne said...

Ahhh, the joy of a weekend of house work. If only I could get to a point where I could just pick up and not attack with a vengeance. I will NOT admit anything about the vacuuming on here. Nope, nope, nope.

Graygrrrl said...

I'd clean more often if it meant I'd find socks and underware! Clearly it wasn't gnomes that stole them...

Phronk said...

I have a friend who left his clothes on the floor for so long that, when he went to finally clean them up, there were maggots crawling in and under the pile.

So, like, watch out for that.

a girl named k said...

i vacuum/sweep like once a month. however, i've lived in my apartment for a year and a half now and have probably only mopped my kitchen and bathroom floor three times. that's disgusting, i know. go ahead and judge me.

Maryx said...

Disturbing... But great to read! =D

That Kind of Girl said...

Um, so, not to get all up ons the elephant in the post, but, madam, where were you sleeping if not the bed?! I'm imagining little shanty mattress of sports bras and yoga pants on the hair-strewn floor. Please tell me this is not the case.

(Also, totes relate in re: messy apartment. My current apartment is about the size of the walk-in closet I used to share when I lived with The Ex, though, so weekly cleanings are a matter of basic survival.)

Antelope said...

I assume you got rid of the underwear you don't like BEFORE you washed them? This is why I can never get rid of underwear or socks, because my mom somehow drilled it into my head that washing them and then throwing them away is wasteful, and I never remember I hate them or they're full of holes until I'm putting them BACK in the drawers...

Obviously, this is a personal issue.