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13 August 2009

TMI Thursday - Tidal Wave

Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for LiLu's TMI Thursday!

TMI Thursday



(This is really gross. I'm just going to warn you now. It still makes me puke in my mouth a little. I don't think I've ever actually managed to tell this story in its full glory. Please don't hate me.)

I used to work retail. A lot of retail. My services (hehe) have graced establishments such as Sam Goody, American Eagle Outfitters, Lids (the baseball cap store), and some shoe store in a horrible outlet mall where I swear they just used a dump truck to dump all the shoes in there without a concern about having them in pairs. Ugh.

But possibly my worst retail experience was at Kohl's. I don't know if you have them where you live, but they're a discount-ish department store, kind of like Target, but without the groceries.

My title? Department Supervisor of the Lingerie Department. Sounds sexy, right? No.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble here, boys, but WOMEN ARE NASTY. Okay, not all of us are nasty, but the nasty ones more than make up for any nastiness lost by us normal girls.

Basically, it was my job to make sure that all the bras and panties and sexy nighties and pajamas found their homes on hangers and that all the dressing rooms were clean. By the way, I wouldn't hang up a bra now if you paid me money to do it (I probably would).

I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't try on underwear. I know what size I wear and I buy that size. If I get it home (wash it) and try it on and it doesn't fit, well, I'm just out that money. Not all women feel this way.

NOTE: If you're a woman and you're reading this, when you buy underwear WASH IT BEFORE YOU PUT IT ON. Trust me on this one.

I had to keep a stash of gloves in my little podium because I was constantly finding tried-on underwear in the dressing room. AND I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT WITH MY BARE SKIN. Gross.

Then I started finding dirty, used, pre-owned underwear in the dressing rooms with the empty hangers from the brand-new, clean(ish) underwear that had been stolen.

The last straw?

I walked into the dressing room and was hit with a wave of stench in the air. I gagged and walked back out. But really, no one was going to deal with whatever it was but me. So I trudged back in. One by one, I opened the dressing rooms and peeked in. Expecting to find some small, dead mammal. Oh, how I would have preferred that to what I actually found in the last stall.

It seems the last woman in the dressing room was having a visit. From her Aunt Flow. A really really really really really big visit. Like someone climbed up into her uterus and used a Samurai sword to shred it big one.

In the dressing room, I found her underwear, which was soaked clean through. Her used tampon. And her old, worn, and...distinctly-more-red-than-anything-else pants. And a GIANT red spot on the carpet.

She had taken clothes and underwear from various departments and apparently decided that my dressing room was the place to change.

I nearly puked, turned, and ran. I found my manager and explained. I was told that I needed to start cleaning it up. I quit.

30 comments:

Lucia said...

I can't believe someone would actually do that...gross! Poor you!

Organic Meatbag said...

Ho-ly Shittttttttt...
I am now reconsidering lunch...

Graygrrrl said...

It's startling how often this occurs. When I worked in large Department stores, you always heard about used underwear, feminine products, and diapers in the dressing rooms. There are even people who seem to confuse the dressing room with the rest room (if you get my drift). People are disgusting.
Which leads to my story: I worked for Clinique at Macy’s (not the best Macy’s but very busy and productive non the less). Anyway, I’m at my counter doing paperwork when the manager of Benefit comes up to me clearly having kittens. Apparently, he was doing a make over on 2 women while one of their kids played on the floor. He couldn’t speak, only point in the general direction of his bay. When I walked around, I found the child on the floor playing in it’s own feces. And if that’s not bad enough, the child had decided to share it with the side of my bay (my poor Stayfit Foundation!). Oh, it gets better! The women were still sitting there and asked if he could get back to their make up. Gross!! I saw them wondering around the store several hours later.
Poor kid.

LiLu said...

Oh my lord... @Graygrrrl, you need to start doing TMI Thrusdays...

Vom.

Life in the Cube said...

Some girls are disgusting. I do the same as you, I wash and then try on.

justjp said...

WOW. As a male, I have nothing to say on this issue. I am taking my balls and going home now.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Holy fuckshit. Use of the Samurai imagery made me laugh so hard, I almost piddled.

This could be one of the best stories I've read on the internet. Ever.

Cassie said...

Oh that is disgusting! I would have quit too!

Stevie said...

THAT is disGUSTING. Ewwwwwww!

And underwear is not the only thing that gets contaminated - a good friend of mine got mastitis from trying on bras. GROSS.

repliderium.com said...

Fuck is that disgusting.
(Seriously? Do people buy underwear and NOT wash them before they wear them?)
Also gross.

Alice said...

jesus h pony on a stick. WHAT THE FUCK, LADIES!?!?

good on you for quitting. ew.

~Cardboard Sea~ said...

Women complain about dudes all the time, but some of the most horrific things I've seen in my life have been the product of a woman.

mysterg said...

I actually have a funny story similar to this of mine own which you've just reminded me of after blocking out for so long! Damn you!

f.B said...

there are just some things you can't ask someone to do; at least not without offering promotions, huge salary increases, more vacation time and RUBBER GLOVES.

cleaning up that would be one of those things.

Joanna said...

Um, that story is exponentially more horrifying in print form than it was in person. Consider me impressed.

shine said...

Lucia: Yeah, it was DISGUSTING.

Organic Meatbag: I hope I made it up to you.

Graygrrrl: Wow. Ew. That is nasty. Feel free to start doing your own TMI Thursday posts!

LiLu: I'm not cleaning that up!

Life in the Cube: At this point, I wash about six times...

justjp: I didn't mean to hurt your balls.

the iNDefatigable mjenks: Hehe. Piddled.

Cassie: Ugh. I had no choice.

Stevie: Oh, believe me, I know. The lady who worked at Playtex had Plantars warts all over her hands and arms...and she only ever worked with bras. NASTY.

Kim: I've told this story a dozen times and I still threw up in my mouth a little when I typed it up.

Alice: Exactly!

Cardboard Sea: Agreed. Women are nasty. Men are nasty, too, but at least they don't bleed.

mysterg: Oops! Now you can tell it!

f.B: Yeah, they offered none of that. Not even the gloves. I requested a HAZMAT suit.

Joanna: Score!

Leigh said...

This reminds me of the time I spent managing an arcade at a theme park. Someone took a poo on the floor in the middle of the arcade. I called grounds and refused to touch it b/c it was hazardous material. Sorry you didn't have someone else to call!

Ashli said...

Wow. Just wow.

Once when I worked retail some kid shit on our floor.

It was awful.

Zan said...

Holy.hell.no.

You're a smart cookie for quitting. Fuck that shit. Women are verrrry nasty. I see it in public restrooms all the time, which is why I usually go in the men's room.

Candace Maria said...

Oh.my.goodness.

That is horrific. I wonder where that women is right now....


Or what poor department store she is terrorizing.

Antje Spethmann said...

1. Underwear come in sealed plastic bags/containers (mine are from Costco). They still get washed... then worn... but the plastic still makes me feel a wee bit safer.
2. I worked as a life-guard and swimming instructor at my mom's tennis club... I will blog on this come Thursday.
3. I have purchased "sealed in plastic" underwear and a pair of pants during a lunch break and changed clothing in the bathroom at work on emergency occasions. Tho. usually I have extra of everything in one of my 3 gym bags - climbing, running/workout, biking.
4. I am always surprised how little socio-economic status really has to do with disgusting behavior when people think they can't get caught/found out.

Chrsitel said...

Yep. Worked at Meier & Frank (before it was Macy's)in Women's Designer Fashion. Right next to the Women's Restroom: junkies and just straight up ookiness! Women can be nasty! Ugh. Flashbacks.

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