27 May 2009

Your Team - Red Mesh Top at Starbucks

Some friends and I play this little game. I can't take any credit for it, I was only introduced to it a couple of summers ago (the summer of the tree...). It's called "Your Team."

Here are the basics:

You're out with some of your friends and you spot an awkward, socially-challenged, fashion-challenged, hair-challenged, keep-spit-in-his-mouth-challenged member of society.

You pick one of your friends, look at him or her, indicate the awkward person and say, "Your team!"

Depending on the level of awkward, you might squeal with glee at this point. Entirely up to you, of course.

And now, because of a handy little website, the game can be played cross-country style. Cell phone cameras help, too.

Last Saturday, I was at Starbucks with a friend. It was about 8:30 pm. I'm only explaining that because...well, it was a little early for what we saw.

Now maybe to some of you, it seems entirely normal to be wearing skin-tight, acid wash jeans, a black string bikini top, and a red mesh shirt to a Starbucks. But to me, it does not. She was also wearing about six tons of makeup, but I didn't manage to get a face shot (that's what she said).

She was with a friend who was wearing skin-tight, white (and I do mean could see every lump and bump up in there. And she wasn't fat, ifyouknowwhatImean) capri pants, a denim tube-top with stars on the front, and platform wedge sandals. And so much makeup I originally thought she was a dude. Because it was drag-queen makeup, not because it's totally normal for men to be walking around in Texas wearing makeup. You could get cut for that shit, men. It's not advisable here in conservative land.

The best part was that the entire Starbucks went completely silent while they were in there.

I'm sorry I didn't get better pictures. But that chick? Your team!

Also, today, my hand looks like this:

And I have no idea why. Seems I punched something last night. But what? Or whom?


alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i think i'm going to go ahead and start playing this game too.

and as for the girl i hope she just got off "work" and that's why she was dressed like that.

LiLu said...

"keep-spit-in-his-mouth-challenged member of society"

These people are the WORST. Worse than close-talkers, worse than soft-talkers... THE WORST.

Jay Ferris said...

FYI: naked time starts at 9pm for my team, so she appears to have been right on track.

adriana said...

This game is amazing.

Antelope said...

Are you sure that's not hand-herpes? Do your hands use protection? Do you know what kind of bars they frequent? I think you need to have "the talk" with them.

Alice said...

AM SO HAPPY TO LEARN ABOUT THIS GAME. i mean, i already point out unfortunate members of society to my friends; making it competitive can only bring me more joy.

OH MY GOD MY WORD VERIFICATION IS "HOSCOPER." as in, "she who scopes hos." life = good.

Heresthebestpart said...

Meshealle is a Starbucks HOSCOPER :-)

rs27 said...

Not going to lie. I wish that chick was on my team. You know she's a freak where it counts.

Hopefully she's not a dude though.

PorkStar said...

You see those in NYC all the time, specially now with the warmer weather. Once they turn around and you see all that cake of make up, you wished they had never turned around. Matter of fact, the drags in NY wear less make up than some skanks.

shine said...

alexa - cleveland's a plum: Yes! Start playing today. And send pictures!

LiLu: I think maybe close-talkers with bad breath are worse. And close-talkers ALWAYS have bad breath.

Jay Ferris: I hope she has some kind of warp speed vehicle. Unless your naked team is operating through video chat these days...

adriana: You know you wanna play.

Antelope: I didn't touch her! Ew. Your blog with the translated article is still hurting my head (and making me giggle).

Alice: You must start playing. Imaginary points are the best! I'm totally a hoscoper.

Heresthebestpart: You know it. Dirty martini?

rs27: I'll see if I can get her number. If she's a she. Or if she's not. That will be more entertaining blog fodder.

PorkStar: I'm going to start dressing like that everyday. Wonder where she shops...

Wodies Woes said...

Hysterical. She just came home from a "sleepover".

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...


Lucia said...

LMAO, my hand looks like that too! Come over to my blog, I posted a pic!