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28 May 2009

Maybe I'm a computer?

And if so, I seriously hope I'm of the Data from Star Trek TNG variety (don't judge, I love that show).

These "captcha" things? Are designed to "captcha" me. Apparently.

I can't seem to ever get one right on the first try. My fingers refuse to type nonsensical letters in sequence. The font throws me totally off base.

Sometimes there's one "word." Sometimes there are two. I never remember if they're case-sensitive and I refuse to use caps lock, so I'm forever stretching my little pinky finger over to the shift key.

I ACTUALLY JUST TYPED ALL OF THIS IN CAPS WITHOUT TURNING ON THE CAPS LOCK. THAT'S HOW RIDICULOUS I AM.

Ahem.

I get that we don't want those scary little bot guys spamming our blogs and things (so many words in this sentence are not even words I would have used ten years ago), but can't we make them slightly more human friendly? Or else can't we find a way to send sexually transmitted diseases through the internets so that all the scary bot programmy people die a horrible painful death? Only they'd be better at it than the rest of us, so I guess only us good guys would end up with the internets STDs.

That was a bad idea.

Why do you men insist that you like outgoing and funny and smart chicks when really you just want someone to make you a martini and cook you dinner (which I totally excel at anyway)? This has nothing to do with the rest of the post.

10 comments:

Jay Ferris said...

I find your last sentence to be completely false. Not that dinner- and martini-making skills aren't coveted, but most guys I know aspire to something more than that.

As for captchas, maybe you should take yours off this blog then?

LiLu said...

Oh please- I am a HUGE TNG geek! I watched every single episode with my dad. And I'd it again gladly.

*NERD ALERT*

Sarah said...

I have several things for you today:

1. Have you ever bought tickets off of Ticketmaster.com? Their little security words only contain actual letters like 25% of the time. It's like they are using WingDings over there. (Yes I just made a font joke.)

2. I'm going to be honest with you-I, too, am looking for someone to make me martinis and cook me dinner.

3. I have never seen any other pictures of you than that profile picture, but I would wager a guess that's the best picture ever taken. Seriously if I was your friend, it would be my pc wallpaper.

4. You look like my friend Steph in that picture which I think means if you lived by me we would be friends and you would make out with a lot of random dudes.

repliderium.com said...

Is there any chance you'll make me a martini? I know we just met, but booze is such a good lubricant for new situations.

mylittlebecky said...

good plan. i also irrationally hate caps lock.

also? the yourteam site? can't. stop. looking. dammit.

LBluca77 said...

it's true, men just want us to make them dinner so they can then slap our ass for a meal well done.

standingonthebrink said...

I am nineteen. I am ready to be nobody's Little Wife. But if I bring a guy back to the flat it's all, sit down dear, I have some beers in, and I'll just rustle up dinner, or do you want a cup of tea, or we might have some cake somewhere. I should buy a pinny. And i HATE myself for that. But then it is EXACTLY what guys expect of us. Apart from my friend C who doesn't do those kinds of social niceties, will cook me lunch/dinner but then I have to *ask* for a drink to go with my food/the movie/on its own... never mind. It's some kind of improvement.

Meanwhile this blog was entirely hilarious and so utterly true. Perhaps we could introduce STDs that would only go through to spambots-and-their-geeky-virginal-owners by MAGIC.

Phronk said...

Bullshit. What's the point of martinis and dinner if there's nobody to laugh and have deep conversations with while enjoying them?

Maybe brainless douchebag dudes say this to make themselves seem less brainless.

shine said...

Jay Ferris: Feel free to extend an introduction to these magical mystery men of which you speak. And no, I can't take away the captcha. If I have to suffer through it, so do you!

LiLu: I'm afraid I've seen every single episode at least three times. And all of the movies. Oh dear.

Sarah: You and your friends sound like you have so much fun in Cleveland! I would be happy to make you martinis (only if you like them of the dirty and vodka variety) and dinner. Feel free to use the picture as your PC wallpaper. I only posed for it (read: did that without really thinking), I didn't take it, so I can't take much credit.

repliderium.com: As I stated before, only if you like 'em dirty. I would be happy to make you a martini. There's a lot of good jiggle involved in such activities. It's a real ice-breaker.

mylittlebecky: What's wrong with us? People use caps lock everyday. Maybe we have commitment issues?

LBlucca77: And I'm okay with a slap on the ass.

standingonthebrink: I have exactly the same problem. I was raised to be a good hostess. Also, thanks...now I feel REALLY old!

Phronk: This isn't what they say. I'm totally down with a dude who puts it out there up front. "Make me dinner and do my laundry, hooker." It's the dudes who are all, "Oh, I want a sarcastic, funny, smart girl who can hold her own, blah blah." And then they find that girl. And they are scared shitless because maybe she's smarter, funnier, and far more adorable and they can't keep up. And THAT is the problem.

Travis Sloat said...

Data was the shit.