18 May 2009


My friend LOB was staying with me this past weekend because she's subletting her apartment for the summer.

Wow. That was no "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," eh?

We decided to stay in Friday night (especially since we were out until 2:30 am Thursday and I had to work all day). So I made shrimp nachos and we ate them (and ate them and ate them. They were really good) while watching Center Stage and drinking much red wine. I blame the Center Stage thing on Jay over at Genius Pending (also known as the smartest person I know). He's doing a month long challenge of watching a chick flick daily and then reviewing it. So I've had the movie stuck in my head for a week, and it's what LOB wanted to watch anyway. It's a really really bad movie.

After our second bottle of wine, dancing along seemed like a good idea. So we danced. Okay, I danced and she threatened video while telling me that I'm surprisingly bendy. This is true, I am surprisingly bendy. Fourteen years of dance and cheerleading (Shut. Up.) will do that to you.

Her friend, Fransen, was in town from California for his sister's college graduation, and at this point, he talked his parents into driving him to my place and dropping him off. When asked if we could bring him back later, he made the wise decision (mostly based on the amount of giggling we were doing) to say, "Probably not." So his parents agreed to come back and pick him up later. And we were all back in high school.

We made experimental dirty martinis, which were far more dirty than martini, but I thought they were delicious. So there.

The next day, LOB and I were in red-wine-hangover-land, so we went shoe shopping. That night, LOB had to join her friend at a sorority graduation party. I laughed at her.

One of my favorite musicians in the whole wide world, Patrice Pike (and no those recordings don't even remotely do her justice) was playing at a bar about two miles from my house, so I had to go. She's so amazing. I just sort of melt into a puddle of goo around her. The first time I met her, I'm pretty sure I proposed marriage. It wasn't awkward at all.

So, naturally, I managed to almost sit in her brother's lap at the bar. Then when I got to talk to her, I acted like a complete idiot (me: Remember that time I asked you to marry me? Yeah, I didn't mean that...unless you might say yes...). It's what I do.

Where's my paycheck?

After the show and at the next bar, I saw a bunch of people I haven't seen since the best bar in the world closed. That was a sad day.

Anyway, so this guy came up to me and gave me a hug and said, "Wow. I haven't seen you in years. It's really good to see you again."

Me: (Silence. Crickets. Blank stare.)

Him: Uh, don't you remember me?

Me: (Light bulb!) Motorboater*?

Him: Yeah. I haven't seen you since [bar] closed.

Me: Nope. Guess not.

This is the guy who used to walk up and motorboat me pretty much out of nowhere. Nearly every time he saw me. So, ya know, we're already kind of on intimate terms. Also, I've never seen him sober. Keep in mind that we've really only ever seen each other at this one bar, so it's not unusual for people to be drunk.

So he sits down next to me and it begins...

Him: So...I'm Motorboater (puts out his hand for a shake).

Me: Uh huh. I know.

Him: Yeah, that was my smooth way of trying to get your name. I can't remember it.

Me: Uh huh. I know.

Him: So you're not going to tell me.

Me: Nope.

And pretty much the next thirty minutes consist of him trying to get me to tell him my name and me refusing. Then I was looking for my chapstick in my purse and having trouble holding onto my drink, so he took it for me. Which seemed nice, so I told him my name.

Me: It's Shine. My name.

Him: What made you decide to tell me now?

Me: You held my drink and I didn't even ask you to. That seemed nice.

Him: So that's all I had to do?

Look, I dated a complete ass for a year and a half. Nice is like a hot fudge sundae delivered to me in bed while I watch another episode of How I Met Your Mother.

So he kissed me. Uh...

Actually, it was a nice kiss. But still. Presumptuous bastard.

I told him to stop it and we talked for a while longer. We were talking about sports. Apparently it's impressive that not only do I like sports, but mostly I only listen to sports talk radio. So he asked if I wanted to go to the Rangers game the next day. Never one to turn down a baseball game, I said, "Sure."

What I didn't realize? It seems this was a date...

More tomorrow, because this is really long and I'm tired of writing it.

*Duh, of course that's not his name.


Losing It said...

What a perfectly girly, alcohol-laden weekend. Truly, I'm jealous. Kisses AND shrimp nachos? Yes, please!

shine said...

I have leftovers if you want some! Of the shrimp nachos...well, hell, I have leftover kisses, too!

Losing It said...

I'm on a plane now! But for nachos, not kisses. I have a feeling you'll be using those up on your date!

Jay Ferris said...

How am I supposed to give you hell for watching such a shitty movie after learning that you let random dudes motorboat you?

Phronk said...

Nice! But if holding your drink without asking is nice enough to warrant a date, I think you need to be hanging out with higher quality dudes.

Oh and I'm not proud of this, but I saw Center Stage in the theater. Twice.

Alice said...

ooh, i had a Confusing Maybe Date this weekend, too! except mine explicitely asked me on a date, then told me DURING the date that he was not interested in dating. then proceded to hang out for another 4 hours and make out with me, and text me / call me every day since then and ask me out on another date. or not date, i guess.

and they say GIRLS send mixed messages. RIIIIIGHT.

shine said...

Losing It: I always have kisses to spare. But I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with the husband.

Jay Ferris: I like to make your life more difficult. Besides which, it was all your fault.

Phronk: Holding my drink only got him my name (which he knew at some point anyway). I didn't know he was asking me out on a date until I was on it.

Alice: Men suck. This is my new motto for life. Also, I say what I mean pretty much all the time. Put that guy in the "friend zone" and see how he likes it!

peterdewolf said...

You should have told Patric Pike that you are surprisingly bendy.

LiLu said...

Confusing Maybe-Dates are great fodder, at least...

And SHRIMP NACHOS?? You are a genius!

shine said...

peterdewolf: Please don't give me any's bad enough the woman already thinks I'm crazy.

LiLu: I posted the recipe! And I have leftovers!

Kelly said...

Apparently Blogger doesn't want me commenting on your site. It keeps erroring and it is driving me up the effing wall!

Anyway, weird world, because I was reading this while watching How I Met Your Mother online, then you mentioned it. Chills. Right?