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19 May 2009

It's a...date? Part Deux

I'm going to pose a question to you men at the end of this. At least, I think I am. So if you don't want to read my girly crap, please skip to the question. And answer it. In the comments, not in your head.

So there was a presumptuous kiss and an invitation to watch a baseball game. Which, seriously, is a fine first date idea, it's just that I wasn't thinking about it that way. So I was looking at this as "hanging out with the motorboater" and he was looking at it as "possibly I'm in love with this girl because she has nice boobs AND likes sports." You can see where a problem might arise. Plus, the kissing.

At 2:00 am when the bar was closing, no one really wanted to go home. So I suggested everyone (and by everyone, I mean 5 or 6 people) come to my place. We all piled in cars and everyone followed me (no, I wasn't even remotely drunk). LOB called to see where I was because she had been at the sorority party with an open bar and she was completely shit-faced and bleeding from several places (which, really, she hadn't noticed) and what was I doing and she was going to take a cab to my place and would I be there and she sounded really really really drunk.

I didn't really want her getting into a cab by herself in that condition. This is Texas, okay? It's not like New York or something where cabs are "the thing." Cabs are not the thing. I told her that if Fransen wasn't with her, I would come pick her up. She said some semblance of "it's fine, I'll take a cab" and I had people following me, so I went home.

When I got there she and Fransen were in the hallway (because they couldn't find the keys). I opened the door and we all piled in, where Fransen and LOB immediately began some form of professional wrestling on the kitchen floor. Unfortunately, LOB sort of forgot that she had decided to go commando under her dress and she might have (I admit to nothing) flashed her lady parts to the entire population of my apartment.

We remedied the underwear situation and I tended to her wounds while Smalls made drinks and everyone else pretty much sat down on the kitchen floor.

At 5:00, I finally had to kick everyone out, so LOB could go to sleep. Fransen was already passed out on the couch, having unsuccessfully tried to call himself a cab. And no way was I calling his dad at 5:00 to come pick him up.

I'm amazed he doesn't have a black-eye from all the times he got kicked in the face by LOB because she couldn't figure out what he was.

Everyone made it to their respective destinations safe and sound. And I only got two hours of sleep because I was too worried that someone would miss a flight or oversleep or something.

Then next day, Motorboater came to pick me up (on time) to go to the game. He drove and paid for the tickets, which was sort of my first clue that this was actually probably a date. It was a good game, and we had a good time. He sort of reminds me of Vince Vaughn in The Breakup (Yes, Jay, I know it's a terrible movie. But I sort of like it anyway) and I can't decide whether or not that's a good thing. Neither of us thought to bring (or wear) sunscreen, so we both got crispy fried. Sometime mid-game, he said to me, "So, now I just have to figure out how to get you out on a second date."

Um...why don't you get me out on a first date first, eh?

So here's the thing. He seems hell-bent on proving to me that he's not a douche. But it all just sort of seems like bullshit. So if being a douche is douche-y, but also proving that you're not a douche is kind of douche-y...what isn't? I mean, I know that all you men think that women don't like "nice guys." But that's not necessarily true. What we don't like are nice, BORING guys. Personality? It's a good thing.

I can't decide if I feel really uneasy about all of this because of all the things I've been through, or if I feel uneasy about all of this because I'm trying to tell myself that this dude is not a good idea. I mean, he helped me clean up my kitchen, he took out my trash (this involves sitting it outside the door, before you give him too much credit), he thinks I'm great. But it all just feels like an act. And like he's trying too hard.

Which I suppose is better than not trying at all.

Also, he texted me at 7:00 the next morning to say what a great time he had. That's...weird, right?

16 comments:

Jay Ferris said...

I don't think anything he did sounds too weird. Then again, I can totally relate to being a nice guy with a really broad jackass streak. Not douchey mind you -- jackassey. There's a difference. I'm betting he was raised by a single mother, or at the very least has Daddy issues. Make of that what you will. With all that in mind, I don't see what he has done to not deserve a second date. If there's no chemistry and you just don't think it feels right, that's something completely different altogether. Just remember that you don't have to attach a legit reason to every decision you make about your life; flying on instinct alone is perfectly acceptable.

As for your question, I don't really think I can speak to you having nice boobs without photographic evidence.

Kelly said...

AWWW - give him a chance! That's what my friends always said to me. Apparently I had been burned...

The Breakup isn't actually a terrible movie. I heart me some Vince Vaughn, so him in Chicago in Polish t-shirts. That movie makes me want sexy time in a bad way.

I know that's humiliating, I just ignore Jennifer Aniston.

shine said...

Jay: That was a surprisingly serious answer. Is this because I called you the smartest person I know? And my question. Was not. About. My boobs. This time.

Kelly: Yeah, last time I did that...it was just about the worst thing I could have done. And Vince Vaughn tends to make me think sexy time, too.

standingonthebrink said...

If there's no chemistry it's a no, if you've just got some niggles, past experience doesn't necessarily dictate that going out with this guy is equally a bad plan, so go for the second date and keep deciding - a first date only means you have decide if you *could* potentially like this guy, and you're not sure, so you go for a second date, and that date in turn is just about making you decide whether you want to try out a third date, and so on. A second date isn't a contract. I'd go for it if he asks you out again - it's worth a shot, and there's no point at which you can't escape. It's a win-win, I think.

adriana said...

I agree with standing on the brink. And if you can't shake the creepy feeling, don't go on a 3rd date with him!

Just for the record, though? The 7am text might have weirded me out too. I don't agree with follow up THAT soon.

shine said...

standingonthebrink: There's some chemistry. And I agreed to the second date. He just doesn't exactly match up with "the list," ya know?

adriana: He texted me today to check on my sunburn. But at a reasonable time. Not that I'm not awake at 7 am, but still...I don't know.

Erin said...

You may be putting way too much thought into this. Your heart will tell you if you should give him a chance.

shine said...

Erin: There's no question that you're right. But you see, the problem is, right now, I don't trust myself to make these sorts of decisions. Which really sucks. My heart is on the fritz. If only it were made by Maytag, right?

Alice said...

haha, how great would it be to have the maytag repair guy come out and fix us? and our relationships?

2nd date is usually my breaking point. it provides just enough time with the dude to assess whether a) the guy is a douche; b) the guy isn't a douche but wishes he were because he was told nice guys finish last, so he acts unsuccessfully douchey, which is even worse; c) i even like him, for that matter; and d) if he's a douche but hot so maybe i'll go on a 3rd date just this once...

Losing It said...

Give him another chance. Seriously. I would take him somewhere where he has to interact with other people (like waiters). See how he treats them; then you'll know for sure the magnitude of his douche-ness.

PorkStar said...

I dont think there's anything wrong with that, you know. And texting you next morning about a good time he had with you, that's a good thing. Give him another chance, definitely, see how it goes.

Killer B said...

Carried forward from your previous post - What does "motorboating" mean? I've got all kinds of really weird images in my head but none of them seem very nice...

A really good friend of mine would probably tell you never to date anyone you met at a bar, but she's CLEARLY never been motorboated before, so yeah, what the hell - call the guy already...

LiLu said...

I met B at a bar...

Although, he never would have motorboated me that first night...

txsand said...

I have had friends that could be real Douches to their woman. I still don't understand that.

Just take your time, be yourself and see if this is truly his personality, or is he hiding a Douche.

Good luck. I think you deserve a good relationship.

Antje Spethmann said...

Tell us about the second date... and don't overthink this... you can date for months at this once a week pace and not get burned... you're not going to have to live with him by June 15th or anything.

Phronk said...

Most of his actions sound OK, but if it all feels fake then you gotta pay attention to your gut. Actual non-douches don't need to try hard to prove their non-doucheness. So to answer your question, what isn't douchy is a guy (or girl) who effortlessly engages in normal human behaviour without even thinking about it.