20 May 2009

Bob Barker and a Tootsie Pop Glass of Delicious

It's a take it easy day today. Actually, it's an I-went-out-last-night-at-9:30-pm-when-I-shouldn't-have-even-though-I-had-to-work-today-and-ended-up-showing-off-my-ladies-of-The-Price-is-Right-impression-creating-my-own-drink-and-getting-talked-into-doing-Shoop-by-Salt-n-Peppa-at-karaoke day. So yeah.

Also, I'm pretty sure the bartender is in love with me. In a totally non-creepy-but-he's-kind-of-an-old-man kinda way.

So I'm just going to put this out there, for those of you who don't follow me on Twitter (what's wrong with you?). This is one of the most fucked up true things I've ever read

Someone please tell me that it's not true. Oh, also don't click that if you have a weak stomach. I guess I warned you about that a little too late, didn't I?

Who eats eyeballs? I mean, at least, without barbecue sauce or ranch dressing or something.

I'm kidding.


You know, if I believed in God, I might consider this a sign of the apocalypse or the rapture or something (seriously, God, if you're out there and you read my blog, not that you need to of course, since you know everything, but maybe you just read it for a good chuckle, in which case you should probably read Your Beard is Good or Baking with Plath or The Bloggess or LiLu or i hate so much or PeterDeWolf or well, just look to the side there because this is getting out of hand and they're all way funnier than me, but if you're out there, it's time to rapture some of your crazier followers). Instead I'm just going to hope against hope that this doesn't spark an idea for a new reality television show.

9 comments: said...

If it turns into a freaking reality show I'll dig my own damn eyes out.

LiLu said...

That's about the best company I've ever been in, INCLUDING you. :-)

BBQ wouldn't do it for me.

Maybe a hollandaise, though.


shine said...

repliderium: I'll be right there with you.

LiLu: Leave it to you to go with the grossest possible sauce to have with eyeballs. I threw up in my mouth a little.

Alice said...

JESUS TOAST ON A STICK, that was the worst link i've ever clicked on. and that INCLUDES meatspin and 2 girls 1 cup.

i do wish i could have seen the Shoop, though. :-)

Jay Ferris said...

I heard about this story, and it makes me think of that movie Event Horizon, which pretty much gave me nightmares after watching it. When I was 18.

I don't care how much PCP that guy was under the influence of. I hope he dies. Painfully.

adriana said...

I was so grossed out when I saw that. That guy had to be seriously fucked up or mentally insane. That poor little kid. It made me sick to my stomach to read it. :-(

Toanny said...

I can't read your link. You tolerate a lot ickier news than I can. Bleck.

shine said...

Alice: Sorry about that. On both counts. There will be no video of my Shooping at karaoke. Even if I am bizarrely awesome at it.

Jay Ferris: Or gets much ass love in prison for the rest of his life.

adriana: I hope you didn't click it again. I should have put DON'T CLICK THIS ADRIANA! in front of it.

Toanny: This is true, but it was Cameron's fault.

Kelly said...

Whoa. I hadn't heard the story and I'm shocked. I read the first line of the article and had to close out. Who could be such a freak?

Why couldn't he have just shaken the child a little? That's what I do...