Today, on my Happy Birthday...

I've decided that heterosexual marriage isn't legitimate. From now on, that husband you worked so hard to get is now your boyfriend. That trophy wife you spent so much money on is your girlfriend. I just don't recognize heterosexual marriage. Sorry.

Until you decide to admit that gay marriage doesn't actually affect you at all, you don't get to have a legitimate marriage in my eyes. Until you admit that all you're doing is fostering hate and discrimination because you're scared (which I also don't understand), he or she is just your "friend." If I'm feeling nice, I might say "roommate."

And if you want to argue about how gay parents affect children, please read this (Thanks, Jane!). Just try to tell me that child would have been better off with his straight mom. I dare you.

So today, on my Happy Birthday, I ask you this: think for a while about why you're so bothered by gay marriage. Don't think about why all those people on the radio or the news or at your church have told you that it's wrong. Don't even think about your Bible today. Just think for yourself.

Half your straight marriages don't even work, what's the harm in letting gay people in on the action? Personally, I think we should do away with all marriage, or at least provide some alternative that makes logical sense.

Think for yourself and see where that takes you.