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11 December 2008

Smokin' Out

What does "No Smoking" mean?

Not much, really, if you live in Dallas. By City Ordinance, smoking is not allowed in restaurants or public buildings or bars where a certain percentage of money is made from the sale of food. That covers most of the bars. And yet when I go to the bar, it's usually smoky.

I walk in, noting the "No Smoking" sign on the door, but that's about where it ends. No one who frequents the bar pays the slightest bit of attention to the sign. The owner of the bar doesn't enforce the no smoking policy. The people who work in the bar don't take issue with people smoking.

But I do.

Now the Dallas City Council has voted to expand the ban to all bars and billiard halls (who calls them billiard halls?). You'd think I would be happy, right? But my question is this: What's the point?

If you can't even enforce the current smoking ban, why expand it? Just making a law is not enough. Citizens are thumbing up their noses at you on an hourly basis. They don't care that you've expanded the places where they are currently banned from smoking because they still smoke in many of those places.

For some reason, it's perfectly acceptable to follow the rules in hospitals, schools, day care facilities, and government buildings. But not in bar/restaurants. So you say no smoking? Who cares? I'll smoke if I please!

And all you bar owners. Shut up. No, seriously. Shut. Up. If all bars are non-smoking, you're all on an equal playing field. People aren't going to stop socializing and hanging out at bars just because they can't smoke in them. They haven't stopped going to restaurants, have they? They'll learn to go outside, just like they do at work. You know, when they take an hour of smoke breaks each day, while I'm inside actually working.

Obviously you can't only cut out the smoking in one or two bars. Then those bars might lose business. That's not fair. But if you all enforce it, you're all equal. Play by the rules.

And to you, dear smoker, it is certainly your choice to smoke, and I'm not suggesting you quit. I respect your right to destroy your body (I do it with beer and french fries, myself). But it is my choice not to smoke, and when you smoke next to me, I'm forced to partially smoke along with you. So you're not only destroying your own lungs and vastly increasing your chances of getting cancer (which, for the most part, I don't give a shit about), but you're increasing my cancer risk, too. I don't even really get to be part of the decision. It's not cool.

Aside from that, when I get home, I'm going to smell like your shit cigarette stank. And I didn't smoke. Yes, I chose to go to a bar. I should just suck it up, right?

Except that I chose to go to a bar with "No Smoking" on the door. And you smoked anyway. And since you were probably the only smoker at your table, you held your cigarette away from your friends. It's so polite, really. I mean, you would hate for your friends who know you smoke, and therefore went out with you prepared for you to smoke, to be bothered by your smoking. Much better to aim your disgusting cancer stick in my direction. I'm just that stupid bitch who went to the bar thinking there was a no smoking policy in place.

Do me this favor. Next time, blow the smoke at your friends. Maybe then they won't want to hang out with you as much, and you can stay home and smoke alone.

3 comments:

Jason Harx said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jane Dough said...

A warning about the grossness of the link would have been nice. Ew.

meshealle said...

But it's so much more fun to trick you!