I just can't leave this one alone.

One of my most awesomest girlfriends, generally referred to as "Pretty Bitch," wrote a blog on Friday, which I just came across today. I have some things to say about it.

And we all know I'm never one to keep my mouth shut, right?

So go read her blog and then come back here, m'kay? GO!

Basically, Nat holds a When Harry Met Sally belief about the relationships that can happen between members of the opposite sex. That men and women can never really be "just friends." While I think she makes some very good points, and I agree that the whole situation can be sticky, I have a slightly different opinion.

I might agree 100%, if I hadn't seen a male-female friendship with my own two eyes. My ex-boyfriend and his friend/coworker were/are FRIENDS. And only that. When they started working together, they were both married. Her marriage ended first, and she was...a bit of a mess (for good reason). His marriage ended a couple of years later and no one would know if he was a mess or not because he doesn't show emotions like a human being. But there were opportunities for them to test the boundaries of their relationship and neither of them even wanted to. Simply put, they're not attracted to each other.

Now, I know what you're thinking. I'm being naive and they were probably doin' it like monkeys behind my back. But they weren't. I can't say I know that for a fact, but I've never for a second doubted it. She met a guy and now they're married. My ex is living with his current girlfriend. And my ex and his friend have never even looked sideways at each other in that way, to my knowledge.

If they were the last people on earth, would they do it? Probably. But that's not really saying much.

While I do think that male-female friendships can complicate and put pressure on an intimate relationship, I think that's about more than just "men and women can't be friends." Your relationships are all based on trust, or should be, if they mean anything. And not trusting your partner to be able to have a friendship with a member of the opposite sex is just...sad. And more likely a problem with your relationship, not with your friendships.

Additionally, I have several male friends of my own who are just that. Friends. I could turn to these guys for just about anything, and I would be there for them in the same way. And no one wants to make the sex with anyone else, or if they do, all parties are keeping their pretty parts in their pants.

I'm not sure that I agree that a fleeting thought about another person naked or what it might be like to kiss that person constitutes awkwardness in a friendship (Honestly, I've contemplated this about nearly everyone I know...family members aside). Hell, once I had a sexy dream about one of my girlfriends and we've survived just fine. Though she was more than a little disturbed when I told her about it, as she's the least bi-curious person on the planet.

The statement "Cheating is anything that dilutes the relationship" just...makes no sense to me. Gaining 150 pounds could dilute the relationship. Taking up a hobby and spending all your free time on it could dilute the relationship. Having to travel five days a week for work could dilute the relationship. All of those things are probably signs that something is wrong, but not a single one of them involves a third party. I would hardly call them cheating. I think I know what Natalie was trying to say (that anything you do with a member of the opposite sex that dilutes the relationship is cheating), and I respect her opinion, but I don't think this is the best way to say it.

In truth, if you're closer to a same sex friend to a level that leaves out your significant other, you're probably diluting the relationship and treating your boy/girlfriend unfairly, but it's rare to hear anyone get worked up about that.

I think that men and women can absolutely just be friends. And that it's perfectly acceptable to retain close friendships to members of either sex while you're in a serious relationship. Don't be stupid about it. Your significant other should probably be your closest relationship, if you're serious about it and it's gotten to that stage. But it doesn't mean that it's unhealthy or wrong to have close friendships. Period.

What do you think? Is this possible?

(I took a poll of some online friends. It seems that most men think this is totally possible and most women think that it's not. Obviously, there were a few exceptions and a couple of "maybe" or "in the right circumstances" answers, as well.)

No Babies Tuesday

Okay, not really...that would be a hell of a topic to conquer every week though, eh? "Hey guys! I'm not pregnant! Thanks for reading, goodnight." Oh, and you have to have sex to get pregnant. So there's that.

This month I saw both sets of my grandparents. A considerable experience since they are all very fundamentalist Christian and very conservative and being in the room with them tends to make me itchy. But I love them dearly.

And yet, if even one more time, I have to hear the great-grandchildren hint, I might scream.

"You know...I'd like to be alive to see my great-grandchildren..."

"Some great-grandchildren sure would be nice..."

Seriously, you guys aren't that old, okay?

Neither of my grandmothers has even hit 70. I think they still have some time before they croak.

Plus, I don't want to have kids. It's very unlikely that I'll ever have any. Maybe one day, if I'm feeling particularly masochistic, I'd consider adoption. Which, by the way, is a great option, people. It's the same principle as the puppies. Breeders are the enemy here. It's just that I don't have any interest in raising children.

Also, kids are bad for the environment. I'm just putting it out there. Because I totally care about the environment.

Even more than that, I don't want to get married. And I'm pretty sure that both sets of grandparents would choose to disown me before seeing me have any children out of wedlock (pre-marital sex, oh no!), so I'm not even sure why they're broaching the subject. There are no prospective husbands over here, ladies.

So please, dear grandparents, stop barking up this tree. Your other grandchildren are all much better options, trust me.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Do you recycle? I do...sometimes.

I can admit that I may not care about the environment as much as I should. Here's the thing, though. I don't want to have kids. And I figure you people can't screw up the environment so much that it's unlivable in the next, say, 60 years. So I'm kinda...good.

It's not that I'm against recycling. When it's easy, I'll do it happily. But I don't really go out of my way to recycle. Plus, to be honest, I get confused. Do you still have to rinse everything out before it goes in the recycle bin? Because that's a pain in the ass. And do I have to separate things? Because that's also a pain in the ass. And what exactly can I recycle anyway? Yeah, you can act like you know, but I bet a lot of people have these same questions. And I bet they don't bother to do the research either.

I even set up a little paper bag for my recycling at home. Now it's full. And I have no interest in taking it anywhere.

Anyway, here's my beef:

A lot of companies and schools are getting on the "we should recycle" bandwagon. And that's good, right? Actually, no. It's not.

These environmentally friendly companies and schools start massive recycling campaigns. They put recycle bins out everywhere. This one is for 20-oz plastic soda bottles. This one is for paper. This one is for other plastics. This one is for aluminum cans. On each one, there's a long list of things they would really like you to not put in there. Gum, cigarette butts, food, etc.

But here's where they've made their mistake. Recycle bins in abundance. Far fewer trashcans. And guess what, people? We freakin' need trash cans. I have to throw my paper towels, gum, food somewhere. And if I can't find a trashcan, the most likely place for me to throw it away is in your recycle bin. And if that happens, how is it different from a trashcan anyway?

It isn't.

And the people that you hire to take out the trash? Don't know the difference. On my college campus, I saw many a recycle bin get emptied into the trash with everything else. Because there was trash in it and because the trash people don't want to deal with separating stuff out. Do you blame them?

I have to go to FedEx/Kinko's/FedEx Office or whatever it's called once a week to do work for my mother. There isn't a single trashcan there. I understand that they have a lot of paper waste, so recycle bins make sense, but good grief...where am I supposed to throw my broken binder clip? Are post-its recyclable? They have all that sticky stuff on the back, so I'm not sure. And what about the plastic-y thing I peel off my FedEx Pak envelope? Is that recyclable? Gah!

Usually I just stuff all my trash in my pockets and dispose of it at home.

BRING BACK THE TRASHCAN*!




*They say you have to stand for something, right? So I'm speaking up for the trashcans, as they cannot speak for themselves. I'm pretty sure I deserve my own National Holiday for this crusade.