First of all, before you say anything, this blog is about ME, okay? Just so we're clear.
And yes, if you want to know how awesome I am, you can just ask me.
So for future (or possibly current) reference (I'm looking at you, Princess), these are the Top Ten Rules for Dating Shine (as of today, who knows what tomorrow will bring?):
1. Do what you say you're going to do. There are no exceptions to this rule. (Okay, probably if you call AHEAD OF TIME with a good reason for why you can't do the thing you said you'd do, I'll let it slide. Once or twice.)
2. Do not cling to me like Leo after the Titanic sank. I will let go. This means you should have your own life/friends/hobbies.
3. You MUST want to
make the sexy time play cards. Often. Death and disability are no excuse. What?
4. If you listen to Nickelback or Creed (even on accident), you should probably get out of my face before I punch you in the vagina.
5. I can pay for myself, open my own doors, and I do NOT need you to protect me. But all of those things can be nice, in their place.
6. Be a man. A real one.
- I don't need to hear about every single one of your feelings. Talk to your therapist/best friend/dog about the trivial stuff.
- Find it on your own. You can look up directions as easily as I can.
- Have manners. If your mama didn't teach them to you, please buy a book or something.
7. I'm funny. Acknowledge.
8. If you wear a class ring, you need not apply.
9. The L-word is not a salutation. Use it as such, and it means nothing.
10. I like cake. Feed it to me.
These are really in no particular order, except the first. It's kind of like that rule about Fight Club. Break it, and the rest of the shiz doesn't matter.