Relationships have three basic parts: the beginning, the middle, and The End.
Most people love the beginning. The beginning is exciting. It’s new. It’s sweet and you stay up all night talking and making the sex and kissing (there’s actual kissing at the beginning, you know).
Graygrrrl hates the beginning. In her blog, L’amour in B flat, she says:
The other part of the problem is that I hate beginnings. Everyone seems to love them, movies are made in their honor, but for me- they can suck it. I much prefer the middle. It’s comforting. You already know where you stand. You have learned some of the bad habits, and good ones as well. Your friends are used to the idea and treat him/her in a respectable manner. Perhaps they even like him! Middles are where it’s at.
Gofahne feels like she can’t be herself in the beginning sometimes. It's like she becomes this person, trapped in her head, and even though she’s thinking all the right things, she can’t seem to say them. She’s actually a fan of the “casual hookup” that Nicole wrote up last week (GENIUS), though on a different level. (The casual hookup is a thing I loathe, at this point.) Gofahne would rather meet someone when she's out with her friends and not even realize that he likes her, so she's completely being herself. I get that, but I don't want to hook up with or date my friends, really (I've been there, The End of that leads to no boyfriend and no friends. Pass).
Recently, though, I’ve come to notice The Middle Man. The man who may not wow and get your panties all wet right out of the gate, but you know that he would be amazing in the middle. The gooey center of the relationship, if you will. He’s the guy who will take care of you when you’re sick. The guy who will let you know that he’s thinking about you. The guy who calls when he says he will call. The guy who will pick up some little trinket for you while he’s out because it was just “so you” (understand that this is not about money, and could even be a rock he found in the street). The guy who will make an effort with your family (even though they’re crazy). The guy who has seen you at your worst, and still thinks you’re amazing (and maybe he thinks you’re beautiful even when you wake up in the morning).
These guys are few and far between.
Most men are like the M&Ms in your ice cream. They seem like a great idea at first, all colorful and chocolate-alicious, but before you know it, all the color has run off in your ice cream, and they’re just cold and hard and taste like shit. The Middle Man is like molten chocolate cake. It may not be the most exciting dessert on the outside but once you break through the cake, the warm, gooey chocolate in the center is amazing.
(I assume it works this way for guys, too, but I have little experience with girls as M&Ms or molten cake.)
But the question is, how do you get past the beginning if it’s not all rainbows and sunshine and lounging around doing crossword puzzles on Sunday mornings (that's just me, then?), having sex all day and only getting out of bed for ice cream? Is it possible to start a relationship purely based on potential?