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26 October 2009

It's not a World Series if yours is the only country competing, assholes.

So the Yankees are in the "World" Series. Color me pissed off.

Not that I'm an Angels fan. I'm not. Pretty much anything Disney related can kiss my grits (What? I'm from The South.). Well, except The Little Mermaid and Mary Poppins. Okay okay, there are probably others I like. But still. This whole Disney Vault thing? Blows horse penis. And I think we all know it. (Sorry, family. It's Monday. I'm not in a censorship mood.)

Since my Dodgers couldn't pull one out (TWSS), I'm stuck with a Phillies/Yankees "World" Series. Frankly? I couldn't care less about it.

But let's talk about this for a second. A WORLD Series? Because the United States of We're More Important Than You encompasses the whole world? No. You people kinda make me sick.

I guess it's too late to change it now. Just make a note: I think this is complete jackassery.

In other news, I, too, am a jackass. For an entirely different reason, though, don't worry. And this isn't an interesting story. I'll just warn you now.

At the office, we have this printer, copier, scanner, fax machine thing. We all hate it. For months, it printed all white backgrounds blue. Which is fine, except we print A LOT of maps. So it looked like everything was underwater.

We lease this machine from a company and that company pretty much refuses to give us a different one. So we're stuck with this one.

Well, it's a laser printer, so it uses toner. LOTS of toner. And of course, the excess toner has to be stored somewhere. They give us a little reservoir thing which has holes that correspond to each of the toners. When the reservoir fills up, I have to change it out for a new one. All of this sounds pretty simple, right?

Removing the completely-full-of-excess toner reservoir is where things get a little tricky. See, it has a bunch of holes in the top, for the toner. No problem, right? But when it's full, I have to do something with it. This is usually on a day when I've actually gotten ready for work and/or am wearing something white. Cue disaster.

I pull the reservoir out of the copy machine; carefully trying to put it in the plastic baggy that the new reservoir just vacated (with my help, of course). Inevitably, I spill toner all over myself/the floor/someone else's face whatever. ALWAYS. Then came the day I realized that the little baggy? It has a HOLE IN IT. Oh good!

Last week, I was changing the toner reservoir when I noticed all these little plastic knob looking things taped to the front of the container itself. They are oddly the EXACT size of the little holes in the top. Like so:



Now, I've been doing this toner thing for nearly two years now. And I've never noticed this before. I'm supposed to be using the little plastic things to PLUG THE HOLES (TWSS?) in the toner reservoir before I dispose of it. You know, so I don't get toner all over the damn place.

Hi, my name is Shine, and I'm an idiot.

18 comments:

Jay Ferris said...

I would also like to move that the Superbowl be henceforth referred to as "The World Championship of the Real Kind of Football".

M said...

We agree on the baseball thing. It's ridic.

And the toner? Thank God I don't have to do that or every piece of clothing I own would be stained :p.

Just A Girl said...

They make me shake our toners to "get more use out of them" before I can recycle them so that's always fun. I've started telling other people to do it and acting SUPER busy when it needs to be done...

Malnurtured Snay said...

Everyone knows North America is the only part of the World that counts. I mean, except those countries where you can get like 10 hookers for $10. Those are awesome.

justjp said...

Sounds like a rough day all around. Hang in there and eff the toner.

Gofahne said...

If you ever wait a week to allow me to laugh at you again, I will be forced to punch you. Do you know how much better I would have felt about the "curtain incident" if I knew this were about to be on the internets? :)

Sigh. I'm sure glad we have smart moments in between all the jackassery.

GingerMandy said...

aww, bad news bears... at least you don't have to do a little shake-it dance with your toner before you get rid of it FOR GOOD because your stupid whore secretary is too cheap to buy you new toner and thinks you "use too much on non-work related things" anyway.

toner makes me bitter.

Trooper Thorn said...

I agree with you that when a team wins the NBA of NFL championship, they should not call themselves 'World Champs' until they have faced a team from Romania or Ghana. However, the "World Series" is actually named for the "New York World" newspaper that originally sponsored the contest. Note that the winner is referred to as the World Series Champ, not the World Champ.

carissajaded said...

I can sympathize with the toner issues. Last week I went home from work looking like I had murdered the entire blueman squad. I have been doing this for 2 years and it still takes me about thirty minutes just to switch out the ink. And I won't even get started on what happened last week when I tried to put staplers in my brand new, very complicated stapler. Not Kidding!

Alice said...

huh. i thought you were supposed to order a new printer when the toner ran out. no?

NatalieCottrell said...

You're so pretty. :) Sorry, I don't get those moments often with you, so I gotta take it. Mwah!!

PorkStar said...

LMFAO at your story and yeah I agree too with the world series crap. World series my ass.

latenightdramaqueen said...

Hahaha I was cracking up throughout this whole post. You're the best. :)

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

you better not knock the little mermaid - we would have some fighting words.

McLean said...

Hate the Yankees.

Hate to Love Disney.

Moooooog35 said...

This year it's a World Series because everyone else in the world except New York wants the fucking Yankees to lose.

f.B said...

I thought it was a World Series because a whopping 2% of the league's players are from other countries. And apparently, that makes the game "international."

Online Printing Company said...

Ooh. Sorry to hear about your little toner accident. Why can't your company afford a new printer? Haha~ Don't worry, all of us experience that little idiotic moments sometimes.