For your reading pleasure, two more strange or awkward messages I've received on OKCupid. I promise I am in no way editing or making these up. I'm not that creative.
The first begins: Greetings, fellow humanoid!
I must state the obvious, and then it will be out of my system...
*ahem* There, I'm done.
You seem like an interesting member of the earth species known as human and I would like to pick your brain *ahem* have a conversation. By the way, "I may shove my ovipositor tube down your throat and lay eggs in your stomach... But I'm not an alien." (which is perhaps the strangest thing you may have heard on a website geared towards dating)
Archaeology, eh? I'm sorry I don't know more about the subject, although I have a slightly related hobby that when I go to a used book store, I prefer the books that have been written in over a clean one.
Have you actually met someone who doesn't laugh? I've heard of people who "don't vomit", but purposely avoiding a pleasurable social act seems odd.
[redacted], good; doubt in the mythos of the popular, good; getting to have a conversation with you, great if it happens.
No, but really. He may shove his ovipostor tube down my throat and lay eggs in my stomach. It's in quotes. Is this from a movie?
I'll admit to being completely freaked because 37 is my favorite number and there's no way he could have known that, so...is that also from a movie? If it had been 42, I would have understood. Or even 34. But 37? Anyone?
These next messages are from the same dude. I must have left myself logged in to OKCupid on a Friday night, while I was out.
(11:09 pm, I'm at dinner with friends)
Subject: hey there
its friday night and we are both online, i was just checkin you out and saw that you are online... wanna chat
(11:10 pm, I'm still at dinner with friends)
maybe meet up and have a guinness somewhere
(11:18 pm, you guessed it, I'm still at dinner)
Subject: reread your profile
getting the idea that the perfect weekend would involve watching crank, death race, the new star trek movie, a case of guinness, and laying in bed watching the cowboys on sunday. i have a laptop, netflix, and a leadfoot that can get me to the beer store on time...
Really? And I hadn't responded to any of that because I didn't even get the messages until the next day. I was kind of creeped out.