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27 August 2009

Some people actually do get in the shower before they turn on the water.

There's an email or a website or a list of some kind going around right now. I've gotten it about five times. And it's funny. Oh, and true.

However, I take issue with one of the "truisms": I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Because, well, for years, that's exactly what I did.

When I was younger, at some point, we had one of those bathtubs that's a bathtub, but still has a sliding door on top. Or maybe it wasn't me, but one of my friends. Or a relative. Okay, I don't remember, but I encountered one somewhere.



I was so terrified of slipping and falling on my vagina that I didn't want to step into a wet bathtub. I still am a little.

I'm really clumsy. You know this. Don't make me show you my knee again.

Since I was terrified of breaking my vagina, I would step into the tub, turn the water on, and get it to the right temperature.

Then I would pull the little knob and shrink back against the back of the tub, so that the first spray of water (always cold) wouldn't hit me.

I didn't even know other people got in the shower after turning on the water. I mean, who wants to break a vagina?

17 comments:

The DEPI Staffing Team said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mysterg said...

Wow I must be weird. I get in the shower first before I turn on the water. Not because I have a vagina however. I just thought it was a waste of water otherwise?

Joanna said...

At least that kind of shower door has handles. How clumsy ARE you?

I step in then do the water, always have, but I think it's because of laziness (it's soooooooooo faaaaaaaaaaaaaar to reach in and turn the spouts on) rather than fear.

April said...

Today is the very first day I've ever considered the option of getting in the tub FIRST before turning on the water. I clearly missed some safety training as a kid. I just thought you had to get the water to the correct temperature first. I have in fact slipped and still NEVER considered another option. I think it will be weird, but I am testing this new way out tonight. Safety first, but if one drop of cold water gets on me...I am out!

That Girl said...

You and I are one in the same... I also get in the shower first THEN turn on the water all in hopes to save the va jay jay! LMAO!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

That is all you gals think about isn't it? Ways that you can damage your vagina in the course of your day. Broke my vagina once. I can tell ya its not fun. Thats why there are girl's bikes and boys bikes. Boys know that even thought the football to the groin had a football to the groin that eventually we can walk away. Oh and never write the word vagina again. Its like when you hear your Mom swear or use slang. Like Oprah, call it your 'va jay jay' or your 'who who'.

Ed Adams said...

I don't have a vagina, but I still wouldn't want to break one. Still, I'm a turn on the water and then get in kind of person. I was more afraid of the cold water than of breaking something. That and of the spiders that secretly live in the shower head, which I knew would surely come flying out into my face if I did it the other way around first.

cool as folk said...

Hey, that's my bathtub. I always turn the water on first and then hop in. I've only ever slipped once (on soap, ha-ha) and broke my forehead. Not me vaginer, never that.

Meg said...

I have a really hard time believing that you do this. I've tried it once or twice, but I ALWAYS get sprayed by the cold water. I'd rather fall on my vag. Maybe.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i love that you were worried about breaking you leg or an elbow but about breaking you vagina. very funny.

LiLu said...

But it's so COLD at first!!! Me no likey cold.

shine said...

mysterg: I really should have gone with that one. Waste of water!

Joanna: I think you know how clumsy I am and I think you can understand why I would not want to put my vagina in harm's way.

April: As long as your pretty parts are still intact, I think you're good.

That Girl: I was hoping someone would understand!

CCCCCCCC: Normally I call them my lady parts. But vagina just seemed more appropriate today. Vagina vagina vagina.

Ed Adams: Well, at least you have some delusions.

cool as folk: I've fallen just standing in the shower before. I'm not taking any chances.

Meg: I hide against the back wall, huddling, until the water is warm. Well, not any more. But I used to.

alexa: Well, my vagina is important! I've got two arms and two legs, but only one vagina!

LiLu: I know! But it's still better than a vagina accident.

Phronk said...

I've seen some broken vaginas with a crack right down the middle.

ROFL

My bathtub has one of those old lady handles to grab onto when getting in and out. Maybe you should get one of those. Oh, or even better, get one of those showers with a floor-level door you can step right into; the ones they advertise during Antiques Roadshow.

Crystal said...

i cannot believe my vagina has made it 30 years.

Graygrrrl said...

There is this great invention- it's called a tub mat and it prevents slipping in the shower. You may also see them in cut-out form shaped like fish or seashells. It's amazing! I don't know what to do when I'm at someones house or a hotel that doesn't have them I actually contemplate taking a bath. Shudder!!

PS- how are you falling that you're worried about your vagina? I believe an illustration is called for. Perhaps a claymation...

PurlingPirate said...

Damn, now I am going to be all freaked out about breaking my vagina!!!!

GingerMandy said...

i used to do that too because i was scared i'd slip, my legs would split and i'd land on the cold porcelain side of the tub and hurt my vagina bone. then i learned balance and that the shower sticky grip things do wonders. sad...