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12 June 2009

It's Friday, we should break up - My Middle Finger


Here's the deal. My middle finger and I have had some great times. I've pissed people off, made people cry, and gotten myself into a lot of trouble with my middle finger.

But now? It means nothing. It's completely ineffective. I flip people off and they just smile. Or laugh. Or turn the other cheek (thanks for that philosophy, Jesus. Though in my head, it's still about butts). It's so lame.

I guess these days unless you take a blade to someone's balls or pull out your loaded shotgun or have sex with a toaster, no one is going to pay any attention.

Is it just me? Or have your middle fingers lost their power, too? Maybe I should add spikes. Or sex toys. Thoughts?

10 comments:

Jeff said...

Thoughts?
I think that square fingernails make a sex toy already, although probably not one most people would enjoy. Just fingernail-fetishists.

Do you do the glare along with the middle finger, or do you just casually flip it as you look the other way?

Antelope said...

I'm really digging the nail polish there. Also, the way you made the thumb look like you're actually seeing it from the side? Perspective, man. You're an MS Paint artiste.

Also, I vote for adding spikes, because then if people don't take you seriously, you can spike them.

Alice said...

just the other day i was driving along and some old dude in a van pulled up next to me so that he could do the lewd tongue waggle thing at me while staring at my rack. so i pulled ahead of him and cut him off so that i could give him the finger for like a minute straight.

i couldn't see his reaction to know if it was effective, come to think of it.

Organic Meatbag said...

Hey Monkeyshine, the middle finger has not lost it's prowess, but it has to be used in the right circumstance to be effective...in my opinion, the right circumstance would be a situation where the middle finger wasn't even called for...like going to the bank and asking for your balance.,..when the cheerful bank teller gives you your balance with a bubbly smile, flip her off and walk out...
power, my friend...fucking power...

Lori said...

It think it is just you. You know, the bubbly cheeks, bright red hair, great smile. How could anyone be offended by someone so cute and harmless looking?

Losing It said...

You gotta ditch the middle finger and go for something way shocking now. Like flashing some beav.

repliderium.com said...

It's true. We need more to shock us these days. Losing it is right, flashing might work..

Travis Sloat said...

As a guy, I am all for ya'll flashin whatever you want. My new hobby would be pissin women off...

LiLu said...

What about a spiky sex toy?? BOO YAH!

shine said...

Jeff: It depends on the situation, I think.

Antelope: I'm thinking a la Wolverine, no?

Alice: I think most old dudes are still offended by it. You're probably good.

Organic Meatbag: I can see I have a lot to learn from you. I'll try it today.

Lori: I'm really intimidating. Just like you.

Losing it: I think so, too. That's where we're headed.

repliderium.com: I'm just going to go with it. If I gotta flash, I gotta flash.

Travis Sloat: It's all good until you get kicked in the balls.

LiLu: Yes! I knew I could count on you.