Good Morning Poo!

We have this tradition in our office. Every morning, all the men come in...and poo. I call it "Morning Poo Time!" but without the enthusiasm that the exclamation point implies.

Now the office is very small. And we only have one bathroom. My desk is in a direct path of the poo air dissipation pattern. So all morning, I smell poo.

Maybe it's just me, but I go at home. I mean, obviously I don't ever poo because I'm a lady. But if I did, I would do it at home. Or anywhere not at the office. Because the last thing I really need is for everyone to smell my poo all morning.

They just form a line, these men, starting at 8:00 am. One after the other. I got some Febreeze, but most of them refuse to use it. Why?!? I mean, it's not really a cure-all, I understand. Mostly, then it just smells like poo covered with Febreeze, but it's better than straight poo.

And really, what do you people eat? It smells like something died in your intestines, sat and festered for about a month, decomposed to just the right level, and then you sat on our work toilet and let it loose. Thanks.

People get mad at smokers for getting to take smoke breaks at work, when non-smokers don't have this privilege. Okay, I'm kind of one of them. But this whole poo-break thing is out of control. Sometimes it takes a half hour. And the whole time, I'm sitting at my desk hoping that whoever is in there will just stay in there all day, so I don't have to be subjected to the death poo air. But no. The door opens and the stench begins. This usually continues until almost lunch time.

So here's my question to you men: If you can manage to make sure that you have to poo right when you get to work in the morning, can you not manage to make sure to poo before you get to work? Really? (Incidentally, I think I read someone else complaining about this exact same thing on a blog the other day, but I can't for the life of me remember where. Oops! So credit for this idea goes to that person, whoever he or she is...)

In other news, I forgot to put a bobby pin in my hair to keep my bangs out of my face (and since I didn't bother to dry my hair this morning, they were doing this super awesome "woohoo!" thing where they curl around and practically stab me in the eye), so I'm using a paperclip instead. Paperclips? Are not the new bobby pins.