09 April 2009

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I feel like I say this about 15 times each day at work. Most people in my office start their conversations with me as though we've already been talking for 10 minutes...but we haven't.

"So, that's great. We're all good with that. They've said they'll accept what we've sent them."


From the other room, "I tried to put that photo in here, but it's not there."


"So those boxes weighed 19.5 pounds. Are those all the numbers you need?"

Did I ask you for numbers? Do I look like the recorder of all weights and measures?

Why do they all think that I can read their minds? I can't. I'm good, but I'm not that good. And I don't care. That's probably the biggest problem.

But today, when I arrived at work, I got a doozy from my boss.

Him: So are you all oiled up?
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about. Am I what?
Him: Are you all oiled up?

Thoughts running through my head include: Am I competing in some kind of body builder competition I don't know about? Should I be on my way to the beach (YES!)? Do I seem constipated?

Look, I can't control my brain, okay? I have no idea why it went to constipation.

Me: Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Him: Was I not talking to you?
Me: I really don't know what you're talking about. Talking to me when? You're talking to me now...
Him: No. You called. A little while ago.
Me: I didn't call. I certainly didn't call you about oiling myself up.
Him: I wonder who I was talking to. I thought it was you.
Me: Uh, yeah. That wasn't me. And I still have no idea what you're talking about.

It seems that one of our other employees (there are only three of us girls) called in to say that her oil light came on and she was going to stop and have it checked out before she came in. And he thought it was me.

Of course, he also thought that "So are you all oiled up?" was an appropriate question for his much younger female employee.


LiLu said...

Uh, yeah. That one's TOTALLY on him. Yikes.

Meg Kathleen said...

I think you should have just gone along with it like you knew what was going on: Why Yes! Who am I wrestling by the way? Are we holding the competition in the conference room?

Jay said...

I hardly see what was inappropriate about his question. He did offer up the customary congratulatory smack on the ass as well, right?

Jay said...

Haha... my word verification was "ragstrip." Not sure why that was funny, but I know it is.

shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle) said...

LiLu: So far the day he tried to pluck a stray hair off my boob four times takes the cake, but I do have another good story to tell one of these days...

Meg: That's a lot to ask of a girl at 8:00 am. A lot.

Jay: I'm not sure if it's funner as "rag strip" or "rags trip" but's funny. I always find humor in my word verifications.

Kelly said...

So funny! Are you all oiled up? A question I've asked many, many times!

shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle) said...

I know, right? It's a totally acceptable work place query.