Wednesday Wipeouts

Well, folks, I told you to enjoy them while they last!

Here's your last installment of Wednesday Wipeouts.

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Subject: Hi

Hi, I love to get know, looking for new friend to hang out with and have good time.



I'm pretty sure this guy is from the United States, and therefore should speak English.

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No Subject

you look fun,and i want a new friend.what do you say


Translation: I'd like to make the sexy time with you, wanna do it?

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No Subject

that firey red hair, those sparkly green eyes, an unquenchable thirst 4 guinness - I think I'm in LOVE!

seriously, u want to elope? dead serious, just try me!!

Um...no. Also, I'm pretty sure my eyes aren't green. But whatever.

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Subject: We are not alike and I like that!


Hello!

I love your picture! That first one which you label as the face you usually make in pictures! What a delightful image. If you don't reply to this, at least know that you gave me a nice smile at the end of a hectic day.

OK... we're not a lot alike, but I think that might bring out better things.

For instance, I know almost nothing about sports... but if you like sports (especially football), I wouldn't mind having you tell me what's going on... or simply sit along with you and watch you enjoy the things that have meaning to you.

I, on the other hand, love movies. All kinds of movies. I love chick flicks and zombie movies and science fiction and drama and action and super hero and period pieces and... well... I can't always explain what I'll like in a movie. Sometimes... badly written movies will turn me off utterly... but sometimes, I'll see a movie that's badly written, but something about it will be charming and BANG... I'll have a good time.

I'm overweight, sure... but I'm trying to exercise and be more fit... and I imagine that someone with a more active exercise program might help motivate me to work harder... though right now, what I'm doing is taking its toll... but I know it's all for the best.

I'm not an outdoors person at all... but I would NEVER be the sort to hold you back from the things you enjoy...

However, there's hope here. I also hate smoking, I love to laugh... and while I try to be very polite in public, I can swear like a sailor as well. I like to read, though I'll admit my mind wanders and it takes me longer than I'd like to get through the books I enjoy. Currently, I'm reading a collection of Lovecraft short stories, "A Clash of Kings" by George R. R. Martin, and Obama's book about his father.

My musical tastes are all over the place. I've got indie, alternative, punk, classic rock, classical music, pop, even one or two rap songs, blues and so on and so forth. I would never want to be in a place where there was no music.

If you'd like to talk more... maybe even get together for a movie... please contact me here or at [obviously, I'm not going to let you see his email, but it had "uncle" in it.]

I hope to hear from you!

-[Name]

Truth? This is probably more sweet than anything else, aside from the ellipsis situation. But this is A LOT of information to vomit up when sending a first email to someone.

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And my PERSONAL FAVORITE:

Subject: You

oh, man, you are a nerd of the highest caliber. That whole thing about next gen, well I got you beat on that but I'm not bragging. Oh yeah, and I wanted to call you a poopface. There. I did it. I called a perfect stranger a poopface! Haha!


[weird name that surely wasn't his name, but also didn't match his username]


He called me a poopface. I hope he's proud. His momma clearly raised him right.

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So, as Porky Pig would say, Th-th-th-that's all folks!

This girl is actually dating a man. And it just feels weird to continue to receive emails from strange men all the time, so my dating profile is now disabled. Also, he's been reading my blog (and somehow still likes me...I think his favorite so far was my assplosion), so he's probably reading this. Everyone wave!